


Fixing What Was Never Meant to be Broken

by carryonmywaywardshadowhunter



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 18:17:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11742510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carryonmywaywardshadowhunter/pseuds/carryonmywaywardshadowhunter
Summary: 2x18 continuation. Alec and Magnus are devastated, but can they find their way back to each other yet again? (I suck at titles and summaries so if someone would like to help me with them on future fics, please comment or message me!)





	Fixing What Was Never Meant to be Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos/comments if you enjoy!

Alec regretted it. He regretted so many things. Not telling Magnus about the Soul Sword was at the top of that list. He’d been so stupid and now Magnus was gone. Alec knew he deserved it, deserved all the pain and sadness. He knew that but it didn’t make it any easier. When he woke up alone in his too big bed with his too rough sheets, knowing he deserved it didn’t make it easier. When he spent all day running the Institute with nothing but silence and loneliness to look forward to at the end of the day, the regret didn’t lessen. When he went to bed at night and tried not to cry himself to sleep, the pain and sadness didn’t ease. When the nightmares pulled him from sleep and broke him all over again, he didn’t miss Magnus any less.

It’d been a week. Seven days, 13 hours since Alec’s world fell apart. 181 hours, 23 minutes since all hope dried up and flew out the window. It’d been a full week, but every time he closed his eyes, he could see Magnus turning away, could hear those fateful words. And they never hurt any less.  


_Alec walked out of Max’s room into the hallway and saw Magnus still walking away. He couldn’t let him leave. Not like this. He walked to him, breathing, “Magnus… Thank you… For being here…” only to get an, “I'm glad Max is alright,” and that wasn’t right. Not when he was looking at that face. The one that had given him so much. And then, Magnus was turning away and Alec blurted, “I’m sorry! … I should have told you about the Soul Sword. I made a mistake.” They were face to face then and Alec felt no need to stop talking, “But you and me, we always seem to find our way back to each other.”_

_There was a beat of silence before Alec finished, “Magnus, I love you.” **I love you.** He meant so much more than those three words though. Words had never been his strong suit. He never seemed to have enough. He meant to say that Magnus was his future, his everything. That Magnus was it for him. That Magnus was his one. When Shadowhunters truly loved, it was forever. Alec had put his forever in Magnus because he was sure there was no one else he’d ever want to spend his life with._

_Magnus put his hand on Alec’s face then but it felt more like a goodbye and the Shadowhunter’s eyes slipped closed as he leaned into the warlock’s hand, trying to sear this moment, this feeling, into his memory forever._

_“I love you too,” Magnus answered sadly, and Alec could hear the but even before it came and he wanted to beg Magnus ‘ **No, not like this. Not now. Not ever. Not you…** ’_

_“But as a leader,” Magnus continued, the hand falling away far too soon, and Alec wanted to fall apart right there, “there are difficult decisions I have to make to ensure the survival of my people, and the only thing holding me back from doing that is you.” All Alec could do was utter a pleading, “No… No…” This couldn’t be happening. Alec had felt so sure…_

_“I can’t have both,” Magnus answered. “Yes, you can,” Alec begged, “We can. We… Magnus, we can figure this out.” Alec would have given anything for this not to be happening, to not be losing the first thing that had ever made him feel complete._

_Magnus’s eyes were sad as he replied, “You once asked me what I was afraid of… It’s this.”_

 

Magnus couldn’t do it anymore. For the last week, he’d pretended this was for the best, that a break would fix things. Except it wasn’t and it couldn’t. The break hadn’t helped at all. Magnus missed the Shadowhunter more than he thought possible and it was time to own up to his mistake. Tossing and turning in an empty bed was really taking its toll and Magnus needed to see Alec, needed to kiss him, needed to hear his beautiful voice.

Magnus swirled his hands, opening a portal and stepped through into the entranceway of the Institute, feeling more stable than he had in the last seven days. He shoved down the thought that Alec might not want to see him again. That hurt too much to consider so he focused on his goal. Just the thought of seeing Alec propelled him through the halls, heading straight to the office of the Institute’s leader, only to be stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw blonde. Jace.

“What are you doing here?” the Shadowhunter growled, his eyes full of icy anger.

“I’m here to see Alexander,” Magnus answered as firmly as he could.

“Well, Alec doesn’t want to see you,” Jace spat, sending a shard of icy fear straight through the remains of Magnus’s heart, “You left him and now that you need something, you’re here to talk him into giving it to you? Well, not today, warlock. You know, he won’t even talk to me about it but I can feel it through the bond. I warned you about this!”

Magnus was almost hoping Jace would punch him as the pieces fell into place. Alec had thought it was a breakup. And how could he not? Poor, innocent Alexander… Magnus hadn’t even realized how his words would have sounded to someone so inexperienced. Magnus Bane had truly been an idiot but he was determined to make this right. A single, short blast of magic had Jace pinned out of the way and he strode into Alec’s office, locking the door behind him. Alec looked up at the noise and…

Alec looked awful. His usually creamy skin looked like office paper and there were dark moons under his now dull eyes. He looked thinner than before and his hair fell sloppily in every direction as though he’d been running his hands through it. “Oh, Alexander…” Magnus breathed, his heart breaking at the sight. This was his fault…

Alec’s head snapped up at the sound of someone entering and the tanned skin topped with dark, perfectly styled hair was unmistakable. **Magnus** … Alec couldn’t believe his eyes. He was sure he was sleeping, although if this was a dream or a nightmare, he couldn’t tell. Magnus looked like… Magnus. Not a hair out of place. Although his eyes did look a bit duller than the last time Alec had seen him… The Shadowhunter immediately stiffened at the use of his full name, replying quietly, “Mr. Bane, how can I help you?”

Magnus winced. **Mr. Bane**. He deserved that. He stayed where he was and stared into Alec’s eyes, “Alexander, I am so sorry…” Alec’s face was stony and unreadable as he answered, “I don’t know what you mean.” Magnus took a deep breath and dropped his glamor and Alec blinked, nearly losing hold of his composure. Magnus was a wreck. His makeup was badly smudged, he had dark circles under those chocolate eyes(Alec felt a twinge of disappointment that the cat eyes were still hidden but it was likely for the best), and his hair was almost completely flattened.

“Alexander, I made a mistake. A lot of mistakes. Firstly, I never meant for this to be a break up… I meant a break… Just temporary separation… I’m so sorry that I wasn’t more clear…,” Magnus began, and Alec’s cheeks tinged with red at his own foolishness. He opened his mouth to speak but Magnus continued, “Secondly, it was a terrible idea. It hasn’t helped anything. Alexander, I miss you… I told you when things get crazy, you shouldn’t push me away but that’s exactly what I did. Alexander, I thought I was doing right by my people but I wasn’t. I was running away from you. I was scared of falling too far and getting in too deep and I ran and I’m sorry… Alexander, I love you.”

For a long moment, all Alec could do was stare. When he finally spoke, it was quiet and broken but so so sure, “Magnus…” he nearly jumped out of his chair, striding to the warlock and pulling him into a tight hug, “I love you too.”

They would have to fight to stay together. They would have to work to make what they had endure. They would have to fight to win this war. They would have to prove that they could be together despite the challenges. But with everything they had to do, they knew they would face it together. And for them, that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this fic, tell me in the comments or leave me some kudos! If you want me to write a continuation, just say so in the comments! If you want to see more writing from me, leave me a prompt [here](http://carry-on-my-wayward-swan.tumblr.com/ask)! Have a great day!


End file.
